


Keep On Flourishing

by artificialpippin



Series: Take My Hand, Save Your Soul [2]
Category: RuPaul's Drag Race (US) RPF
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, High School Reunion, Lesbian AU, Library Sex, Locker Room Sex, Smut, they're married it’s super cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-15 11:55:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28938117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artificialpippin/pseuds/artificialpippin
Summary: Jackie isn’t even looking at Nicky anymore - she’s looking past her, looking straight at Jan. Nicky notices when they lock eyes from across the room and she swears it’s the same look they used to exchange when they were 17. Jackiefeelslucky; her stomach is in knots, the good kind, and she feels giddy with love and pride and happiness.
Relationships: Jackie Cox/Jan Sport
Series: Take My Hand, Save Your Soul [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1991608
Comments: 10
Kudos: 28





	Keep On Flourishing

**Author's Note:**

> It's finally here!
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has been patiently waiting for this, and for the support and encouragement to write it in the first place. It means more than words could ever convey. 
> 
> Special thank you to Alias and Madi - the only two to have seen this in advance, you two amaze me daily.

“We’re going, Jackie. We have to.”

“We don’t _have_ to do anything, Jan,” Jackie sighs as she takes another long sip from her coffee cup. Jan’s waving the invitation excitedly, and Jackie can hear the soft wobble of the pearlescent card from across the room. Jan’s eagerness is radiating off her - she has more than enough zeal for the both of them, which is evident in Jackie’s empty reply, “it’s just a formality.” 

Their apartment is soaked in the warm light of early morning. The sunlight is streaming in through the windows, and the way it ricochets off the crystal vase on the coffee table douses the room in pretty hues of pinks and golds and oranges. Jan thinks that Jackie always looks beautiful, but this Jackie is her favourite. She’s sitting in the bay window, mug of coffee balanced precariously next to her left thigh while she holds the New York Times against her right so she can finish filling in the crossword. Her dark hair is still in the same messy bun from the night before, thick glasses pushed right up on the bridge of her nose, tawny skin golden and glowing. Ivy sits happily at Jackie’s feet, the Russian Blue basking in the sunshine. Jan watches in awe from the breakfast bar, cradling her own cup of coffee in her hands as Jackie chews on the end of her pencil in thought. It’s disgustingly domestic, and that’s exactly how Jan likes it.

“It’s _10 years_ , Jackie. Surely that’s due cause for celebration.” 

“I don’t know about you,” Jackie muses, and she swears quietly before erasing a few boxes, “but my idea of celebrating doesn’t include going back to a place that explicitly told us that we would, and I quote, _‘burn in hell’_. The best part of high school was leaving. What’s the capital of Belarus?”

“Hey!” Jan cries, throwing her hands up in offence, “it’s where we met. It’s kinda special.” Jackie looks up from the newspaper and smiles, nodding softly. Jackie thinks about the first day she met Jan when they were 16; how she had just moved from Canada, how she thought Jan’s skirt was _just_ too short and her shirt _just_ too tight. She remembers how she used to hate Jan’s blasé attitude, and thinks about how somewhere along the line she started to love it. It’s been over a decade, and Jackie still can’t pinpoint exactly when everything changed; but she’s forever thankful it did. 

She remembers sneaking kisses between classes, making out in confessional booths, having sex pretty much wherever they could - the potential of getting caught only adding to the thrill. Jackie spent 17 years as a Catholic before converting to the Church of Jan, and has spent the last 11 years praying to the shrine between Jan’s legs and mumbling confessions against every inch of golden skin. 

There is no part of Jackie that feels the need to subject herself to the harsh criticism of her ex-peers and ex-teachers - in fact, a large part of her feels uncomfortable at the prospect of walking around so openly in a place that made her hide her true self. They’ve achieved so much since leaving, both individually and as a couple. They moved to Boston, went to college, moved to New York, made new friends and worked hard at their crafts. They got married and watched their friends do the same, they travelled the world and adopted a cat. Jackie has never credited any of their successes to the time they spent in high school, and she can’t comprehend Jan’s desire to parade around and show themselves off to people they hadn’t spoken to in a _decade_. She does, however, appreciate the fact that there will be an open bar.

“We have a cat,” Jan whines, motioning to Ivy. Jackie rolls her pencil between her fingers, waiting patiently for Jan to finish her argument. Oh, how she hopes there’s more to say than _‘we have a cat’_ , “I just want to go and show people that we made something of ourselves. That we didn’t peak in high school, you know? We’re married and we have a house and a cat. And I get to have sex with a really hot teacher all the time.” Jackie rolls her eyes and pushes herself out of her seat, and Jan giggles when she notices Ivy crawling over to soak up Jackie’s residual body heat. The brunette pads over into the kitchen and places her black ‘ _Mrs._ ’ mug next to Jan’s matching white one on the countertop before pulling the blonde into her arms and squeezing tightly. 

As much as Jackie wants to stick to her guns and stay at home, Jan wants to go - she wants to show off her successes to people that spent years doubting her. She’s all grown up - has a house and a wife and a cat to prove it - but Jackie feels like she shouldn’t have to prove anything to anyone. Jan knows she’s right, that she doesn’t _have_ to - but she _wants_ to. And in the 11 years that they’ve been together, Jackie has come to know that Jan always gets what she wants. 

“Isn’t there a part of you that’s curious to see how everyone else turned out? See whose lives are trainwrecks?” Jan muses, pressing a few short kisses to the soft skin below Jackie’s ear.

“A little.” Jackie nods, eyes falling closed and a high-pitched whine slipping out of her mouth. Jan giggles and bounces onto her tippy toes so that she can kiss Jackie properly. It’s slow and languid, as if they have all the time in the world. That’s when Jackie knows there’s no point in trying anymore. Jan has won, and they both know it.

“You owe me. I’m serious, this better be worth it.” 

“I could always fuck you in the locker room like I used to. Maybe even the library, pretty sure that was your favourite spot.” Jackie gasps when she can feel Jan’s perfectly manicured nails dip under her shirt and crawl along her midriff, and she shudders when she feels them continue to trace higher up her abdomen. As usual, Jan is right. She thinks about how she and Jan used to pretend to study during the day, how they used to spend hours between the bookshelves after dark; and she melts.

“I think,” Jackie pauses to moan loudly when she feels Jan tweak her nipple, “I need to be reminded how that used to go down.” Jackie’s bottom lip is snagged between Jan’s teeth, and the blonde is already pulling them back towards their bedroom.

“I’ll show you _‘go down’_ alright.”

  
  


*******

  
  


Jackie thinks that Jan has definitely had worse ideas.

She can _just_ see Jan in the reflection of the ensuite mirror, twirling and checking herself out in the floor length mirror in their bedroom. She’s a vision in black - the shimmery material of her cocktail dress clings tightly to the curve of her hips and the swell of her ass, and Jackie feels her mouth run dry at the sight. She watches out of the corner of her eye as Jan fiddles with the ends of her hair, and Jackie comes to the conclusion that Jan is simply nervous. Not that anything about Jan has ever been simple. She looks gorgeous, like a sin on legs, and Jackie is in disbelief that she is the one that gets to have Jan on her arm all night in a place so holy. Jackie is no stranger to the seven deadly sins, but she stopped punishing herself for succumbing to them a long time ago. She remembers spending hours repenting when she thought her love for Jan was merely lust - and with Jan in the next room looking like _that_ , Jackie knows that right now she has the best of both. Waves of impiety wash over her like tsunamis - and even though it’s overwhelming, Jackie doesn’t feel bad about it, not even for a second.

Jackie is nearly finished removing the rollers from her hair when she hears Jan call out to her, not taking her eyes off herself in the mirror. 

“Are you dressed yet?” Jan yelps, panic evident in her voice, “we have to be out the door in 10 minutes and I swear if you walk out here in anything with Star Trek on it, you’re going to regret it.” Jackie rolls her eyes and sets her final curls with some hairspray before pulling her dress out of the dry cleaner's bag it’s hanging in on the back of the door. She pulls on the emerald green dress with ease, and admires the way it sits against her caramel skin and compliments her jewellery. The plunging neckline accentuates Jackie’s cleavage and sternum in a way that she knows will drive Jan _crazy_ , and she looks herself up and down a few times in the mirror before nodding matter-of-factly. Jackie knows she looks good, and she feels her heart skip a beat when she opens the bathroom door and notices how Jan’s jaw slackens before she swallows thickly. 

“Zip me?” Jackie asks softly, and she giggles when Jan can only nod. Jan’s hands are warm against the small of her back, and she can feel Jan’s shaky breathing on the nape of her neck. 

“I thought I was supposed to be the arm candy,” Jan coos as she pulls the zipper up along Jackie’s spine, and she can feel the goosebumps rising under her touch, “you look so good, so hot.” 

Jan takes a moment to think about how high school Jackie would never wear something like this. Catholic schoolgirl Jackie was small and shy, didn’t wear hemlines above the knee, and spent hours trying to pray the gay away. Successful adult lesbian Jackie demands attention when she walks into a room, wears what she wants when she wants, and is _proud_ of herself and her sexuality. Jan looks at the necklace hanging from Jackie’s neck, a simple solitaire diamond, and she thinks back to the silver crucifix that used to sit there. She remembers Jackie taking it off the night they graduated, almost 10 years ago to the day, and never putting it on again. She’s proud of Jackie, she says it every day, and will continue to say it until time stops.

Jan’s arms wrap around Jackie’s waist and they take a minute to stare back at themselves in the mirror. Jan is beaming with pride and excitement - she’s shorter than Jackie but her head is perched on the brunette’s shoulder in a way that makes them look like one. They look good, they both know it - and they both feel a pang of overwhelming happiness in their chests. They’ve come a long way from who they once were. Jan has always pushed Jackie to do things for _herself_ , not for others; and Jackie has always reminded Jan of the importance of staying grounded. They’re unapologetically ambitious in very different ways, and they continue to balance each other in a way that reflects their relationship - effortless, comfortable, empowering.

“We should go,” Jackie whispers, turning her head so she can press a light kiss to Jan’s jaw. It’s _just_ enough for Jan to feel it, but it’s light enough that Jackie’s lipstick doesn’t leave a trace. She’s saving that for later, “can’t wait to get railed on holy grounds.” She leaves Jan speechless in her wake, grabbing the car keys from the dish by the front door and holding the door open for Jan when she finally manages to escape her trance.

  
  


*******

  
  


Jan's legs have tangled themselves around Jackie’s as they sit at a table located at the back of the school hall. Jackie knows from Jan’s level of affection and the sweet taste of her lips that the champagne is finally starting to kick in. She’s light and bubbly, much like the liquid in their glasses, and Jackie is smitten whenever Jan’s like this.

“It’s so surreal being back here with you,” Jan whispers against the shell of Jackie’s ear, “it’s hot. Turns me on.” Jackie snorts out loud, and even though she’s laughing she can feel the heat beginning to pool between her legs. The May air blowing in from the open doors is cool, but Jackie’s skin feels hotter than the hell she was threatened with as a teen. 

Jackie has found that being so close to Jan is a nice way to forget about everything else happening around them - the awkward small talk is manageable, but the silent-but-obvious judgement is stomach churning. Jackie’s been on edge since they pulled into the obnoxiously long driveway, and now that she has multiple pairs of eyes on her, she feels sick. She tries to drown it out, tries to focus on Jan, but with every Christian housewife they make conversation with the more Jackie’s anxious disposition grows. There’s only so many times Jackie can have the same conversation - that her husband isn’t here because he doesn’t exist, that her and Jan aren’t _just_ friends, that her parents love her and approve of her marriage (it was a process, but Jackie decides that that’s nobody’s business). Her patience is wearing thin, and Jan is quick to notice. Jan never did, and still doesn’t, give a shit what people thought, and she makes a note of kissing Jackie every time she catches someone staring. Jan’s lips are soft and warm - they taste like champagne and feel like home, and Jackie feels safe. 

“Can we dance?” Jan untangles her legs from Jackie’s and pulls them up before Jackie has the opportunity to protest. They move slowly to some old instrumental piece, Jan’s arms around Jackie’s neck in the middle of the dancefloor. Unlike Jan, Jackie isn’t used to being the centre of attention, but when Jan twirls her around with a smile on her face and sparkles in her eyes, Jackie thinks she might be able to tolerate the spotlight. She feels special, worthy, loved. 

“People are staring.” Jackie whispers as Jan pulls her back into her arms and they sway gently.

“Let them.” Jan’s response is simple, curt - and Jackie leaves it at that. 

They move in comfortable silence, alternating between dancing and drinking and speaking to people who are outwardly happy for their successes but inwardly judgemental regarding their ‘ _life choices_ ’. They eventually seek refuge and find solace with some of Jan’s old soccer teammates, most of them trying to escape the same judgement - not that either Jan or Jackie are overly surprised. Jan falls easily into conversation with her past friends; they talk loudly, laugh at old stories, gossip about old rivals - and Jackie feels overwhelmed. She smiles when looked at, speaks when spoken to; but the reality of the moment is that she’s just Jan’s wife. She doesn’t know these people, doesn’t really know anyone here - and before she knows it she’s excusing herself and making a beeline for the bar. 

Despite her best attempts to appear unshakeable, Jackie knows she isn’t invincible. She isn’t a social butterfly like Jan, and with every minute that passes she regrets being dragged to this event more and more. She wants to go home, wants to lie in bed with Jan in her arms and Ivy at her feet - but for the minute a vodka soda has to suffice. She walks quickly, head and eyes down, and as she’s making her way through the crowd she feels her shoulder collide with an innocent bystander - and like the Canadian she is, Jackie finds herself apologising before looking back up. She exhales shakily and regains her composure before bringing her eyes up, and her mouth curves into a smile when she realises she’s bumped into someone she actually considers a friend. 

Nicky’s hair is somehow even blonder, skin more golden; but her smile is still just as warm. She’s wearing a black pantsuit with no top under her blazer, and Jackie thinks she looks like she’s walked off the cover of Vogue. She pulls Jackie into a tight hug, evident that she’s unharmed following Jackie’s clumsiness. 

“Let me get you a drink.” Nicky drawls, practically dragging Jackie the rest of the way to the bar. Jackie finds comfort in the French accent, and she lets herself be pulled through the masses without protest.

“I didn’t think I’d see anyone I liked tonight,” Jackie exhales, cradling the cold glass close to her chest, “didn’t think you’d be here.” Nicky hums in agreement, flicking her hair over her shoulder and sipping at her tumbler of scotch. Jackie remembers when Nicky arrived from France, in New Jersey of all places, on foreign exchange. She stayed in the dorm room next door to Jackie and they quickly became friends; Nicky was Jackie’s first friend on campus and vice-versa. She was Jackie’s confidant - she was the first person Jackie told about Jan, and she thinks about how they used to stay up until the ungodly hours of the morning as Jackie tried to process her feelings. They spoke every day until the time came for Nicky to go back to France - and although they lost touch, it was evident that Nicky hadn’t forgotten, and for that Jackie was super appreciative.

They fall into their old rhythm - they giggle at the girls taking this event too seriously, they mock them in French and recall old memories. Nicky tells Jackie that she moved to New York nearly a year ago, that she started her own hair and makeup business in Midtown. Jackie squeals in delight, in disbelief that they haven’t run into each other yet, and she tells Nicky that she _must_ come over some time for wine and dinner so they can catch up properly. Nicky nods and her eyes finally fall to the rings on Jackie’s left hand, smiling softly.

“You got married? Little Jackie Cox is all grown up,” she coos as she holds Jackie’s hand in hers to admire the rings, “Jan?” Jackie feels her cheeks flush warm, and she nods happily.

“Four years.” Jackie sighs blissfully, and takes another long sip from her glass.

“I knew you two were meant to be. How is she? Is she here?” Jackie nods with a mouthful of vodka soda and points to where Jan is still sitting with the soccer girls, her mouth running a million miles an hour as she tells a story which has captivated everyone around her. 

“She’s good, she’s still Jan. She dragged me here against my will, and I’d be mad if she wasn’t the love of my life.” Nicky beams at the simplicity of Jackie’s answer, as if she knows what Jackie’s talking about. Maybe she does. 

Jackie tells Nicky about how much she loves Jan, and before they know it Jackie is giving Nicky a play-by-play of her and Jan’s domestic life and filling her in on all of Jan’s little quirks that she has grown to love. She tells Nicky everything - how Jan sleeps on the right-hand side of the bed because she’s the little spoon and doesn’t like facing the window when she sleeps, how she goes to Jackie’s favourite Persian supermarket on the other side of the city to get the good lokum when she knows Jackie is having a bad day, how she stops in to see Jackie’s parents every Wednesday after she’s seen her own.

“We have a cat, too,” Jackie muses, “we’re cat moms.” Nicky stifles a chuckle at Jackie’s tipsy rambling, and she feels her heart pang when she hears Jackie talk about her life with so much pride and contentment.

“You’re one of the lucky ones,” Nicky smiles and squeezes Jackie’s hand. Jackie isn’t even looking at Nicky anymore - she’s looking past her, looking straight at Jan. Nicky notices when they lock eyes from across the room and she swears it’s the same look they used to exchange when they were 17. Jackie _feels_ lucky; her stomach is in knots, the good kind, and she feels giddy with love and pride and happiness, “I should let you go. I’ll text you, yeah?” They embrace quickly and then Nicky watches as Jackie begins to walk away with sparkles in her eyes and a spring in her step.

Jan bids her goodbyes when she notices Jackie get up from her table on the other side of the hall, and promises to take part in a game of soccer some time soon before sauntering over to where Jackie is waiting by the main doors.

“Hi baby,” Jan coos, “can I take you home?” 

“Probably shouldn’t, my wife’s here somewhere,” Jan snorts at Jackie’s attempt to play coy, “just ‘cause you’re a soccer player doesn’t necessarily mean you’re gonna score, Jannie.” Jackie’s lips tug into a smirk, and she doesn’t know if it’s liquid courage or if she’s still empowered by her conversation with Nicky, but Jackie finds herself taking a step towards Jan and pulling her in to kiss her deeply. When they finally come up for air Jackie is breathing heavily, and she rests her forehead against Jan’s. For a minute it’s quiet, as if they’re the only people in the world. Jackie is the first to break the silence.

“Sorry for freaking out a bit.” Jan scoffs at Jackie’s admission and rolls her eyes playfully before pressing a chaste kiss to Jackie’s lips.

“You can only sit idle for so long until you reach panic mode. I would love to spend a day in your brain.”

“You really wouldn’t. It’s a mess in there.” 

“Sorry for bringing you to this shitshow, let’s go home.” Jan pulls away and holds her hand out to Jackie, ready to pull her back to the car and begin the trip home. The night is still young, and if Jan has done the math correctly, leaving now means they should be home in time to order Indian from their favourite restaurant before it closes. Jackie shakes her head, and pulls Jan back towards her so that their chests are flush against each other.

“I believe,” Jackie muses, lips brushing against the shell of Jan’s ear, “you were going to fuck me in the library.” Jan audibly _gasps_ , and a few people turn their heads before quickly turning back in disregard.

“How could I forget? Come with me.”

  
  


*******

  
  


If Jan wasn’t as turned on as she was, she would be mocking the fact that Jackie still knows the code to the lock on the doors of the library. The air between them is buzzing with electricity, and it takes all of Jan’s strength to not push all the paperwork off the front desk and fuck Jackie then and there. But Jan decides that Jackie deserves more than some cheap cliché, that she deserves something more meaningful and reminiscent. So she opts rather to suck at the soft skin under Jackie’s ear as Jackie locks the door behind them and turns on the lights at the back of the library. Jackie giggles and sighs when Jan reaches just the right spot; and she feels her eyes roll into the back of her head before she pulls away, captures Jan’s chin between her thumb and forefinger, and pulls her back in for another kiss. It’s slow and languid and sloppy - Jackie’s lips are cold and taste faintly of lime, and Jan pouts when Jackie breaks the kiss. 

Jackie holds Jan’s hand in hers and pulls her towards the back of the library, their heels clicking on the polished wooden floors. They revel in the reminiscence the room offers - it’s the same beige wallpaper, the same smell of worn books, the same meticulously placed desks. Nothing in the room has changed except them, which only adds to the experience. They feel like giddy teenagers all over again, almost like they’ve gone back in time; and even though the scenario is familiar, the feeling in Jan’s stomach is new. She’s drunk on love, tipsy on champagne, high on the sensation of being here with her wife.

“This is so hot, I love you so much,” Jan pushes Jackie against one of the wooden pylons holding up the mezzanine before kissing down the column of her neck and across her collarbones, “my beautiful, smart, sexy wife.” Jackie keens high in her throat, soft whines spilling from her lips. Hours of small talk, knowing looks and gentle touches have all been building up to this moment - this is something that Jackie has been waiting for for _weeks_ , and now that the moment is here it’s overwhelming. Jan’s praise makes her feel lightheaded, and Jackie can feel the blood rush from her head to between her thighs.

“You amaze me,” Jackie pants, cradling Jan’s jaw and guiding her head back up. They’re merely inches apart, they can both feel the other breathing softly, and Jackie can feel Jan’s pulse against her fingertips. It’s fast and irregular, and Jackie knows that hers is the same, “I love you.” 

They indulge in a moment of silence, eyeing each other up and down wordlessly. Jan’s neck and chest are flushed red, there’s a light sheen of sweat on Jackie’s skin, both Jan and Jackie’s pupils are blown wide. They know each other well enough to know they can’t hold off any longer, and Jackie is the one to make the first move. She continues pulling Jan behind her, leads her up the spiral staircase of the mezzanine; and they wander among the teak bookshelves towards the rear of the library.

There’s only one table in the back corner of the room, and Jackie lets go of Jan’s hand so she can skip forward and lean against it. Jan watches in silent awe as Jackie pushes herself up so she’s sitting on top of it, swinging her legs playfully. The smile on Jackie’s face disappears as soon as Jan slots a leg between her thighs, and she moans when their mouths crash together with fervour. 

The kiss is just like any other when they’re tipsy - it’s hot and heavy, fast and aggressive, too much teeth and sloppy tongue. They feel like giggly teenagers every time they’re drunk - but making out in their high school library only amplifies the feeling. Jan kisses downwards - down from Jackie’s lips to her jaw, down her neck, down her sternum. Jackie grinds instinctively against Jan’s thigh - Jan can feel Jackie’s wetness against her leg, and Jackie can feel her dress riding up higher and higher. Jan takes full advantage of this, her hand moving up the soft skin of Jackie’s thigh, under the emerald fabric and eventually grazing against the lace of Jackie’s underwear. Jackie’s breath hitches in her throat, and Jan’s lips migrate back to Jackie’s, and she swallows every moan that threatens to spill from the brunette’s mouth. Jackie pulls back from the kiss when she feels Jan rub her clit over her panties, and she rests her forehead against Jan’s as her eyes roll back into her head.

Where 17 year old Jackie would have muffled her moans in fear of getting caught, 28 year old Jackie doesn’t share the same concern. She doesn't let herself be stifled by worry - she moans unabashedly when she feels Jan’s hand wrap around her throat and push her down so that she’s laying flat against the desk, she jerks when she feels Jan’s fingers get tangled in the chain of her necklace. Jackie guides the hand on her hip up to her chest, and she whines when she feels Jan pinch one nipple between her fingers and sucks the other into her mouth. Jackie lets her fingers entangle themselves in Jan’s blonde tresses, and she tugs roughly when she feels Jan’s teeth scrape over her nipple. Jan moans around the soft bud, and the vibrations travel right down to Jackie’s pussy. Jan pushes the fabric of Jackie’s dress up and over the soft curve of her hips, and Jackie shivers when she feels the cool silver of Jan’s rings brush against her thigh. 

They move with comfortable familiarity, and when Jan eventually sinks to her knees, she holds Jackie’s hand in hers as she does every time. Jan squeezes Jackie’s hand and waits until she feels her squeeze back before she begins. When she doesn’t feel Jackie squeeze back, Jan lifts her head and fiddles with the waistband of Jackie’s black panties. Jackie’s eyes are screwed shut, and when she finally realises that Jan is waiting, her eyes open slightly and a dopey grin washes over her face.

“You alright?” Jan asks, and Jackie simply nods before squeezing Jan’s hand, “ready?”

“Please, Jan.” Jackie whines, and Jan sucks a mark into Jackie’s hip when she raises them, Jan’s soft fingers working at pulling Jackie’s panties down her legs and resettling between her thighs. Jan’s eyes fixate on Jackie’s core - she’s flushed pink and drooling, clenching around nothing, slightly glistening under the soft lighting. Jan lifts Jackie’s legs so that her thighs are over her shoulders, and the feeling of Jackie’s heels digging into her spine is enough to push Jan forward, place her lips around Jackie’s clit and start sucking.

“Oh, fuck,” Jackie’s hips start rolling as soon as she feels Jan’s tongue against her, and her fingers tighten in the blonde’s hair, “Jan, so good.” Jan looks up and watches as Jackie toys with her own nipples, and even though Jackie whines at the loss of contact, Jan doesn’t want to stop watching the love of her life above her. As much as she doesn’t want to take her eyes away, Jackie’s pleasure is Jan’s priority, and she dips her head back down and continues her ministrations. It’s quick, it’s sloppy - it’s just like old times. Jackie keens high in her throat when she feels Jan fuck her with her tongue, hard and steady; and Jan’s heart beats that little bit faster when she hears Jackie mumble and swear under her touch. 

“I need more, Jan, please,” Jackie whimpers, and Jan knows exactly what she’s asking for. Jan pulls away from Jackie’s centre with a slight _pop_ , and she rubs Jackie’s clit in quick circles with her left hand while she holds her right hand in front of Jackie’s face. The brunette is quick to suck three fingers into her mouth, and Jan feels herself getting wetter at the sight before her. Jackie pants at the change of pace when Jan pulls her fingers from her mouth, and she cries out when Jan eases two fingers inside of her and reattaches her mouth to her clit, “you feel _so good_.” Jan can feel Jackie coming undone around her, but she doesn’t dare stop. Jackie’s moans and whines are like music to Jan’s ears, and she’ll stop at nothing to make sure Jackie gets exactly what she deserves. 

She briefly thinks back to when they first got together - how Jackie used to associate her pleasure with guilt and hesitance, how she spent hours repenting after their first few times together. More than a decade later and it couldn’t be more different - Jackie is open and clear with what she wants, what she _needs_ , and she feels like a goddess _every. single. time_. Jackie never understood how something so bad could feel _so good_ ; but now she’s come to understand that nothing was ever bad in the first place. 

Jan thinks that loving Jackie and being loved by her is so hot it burns, that it marks every inch of her body and soul. She finds bliss and divinity in Jackie’s existence, and finds her religion in the nooks and crannies of Jackie’s body. Life with Jackie is bright and delicate, dizzying and all-encompassing. It’s overwhelming in the best of ways, and Jan is soon pulled back to earth by the sounds of Jackie’s whining from above her.

“Jan, please,” even though Jackie is undone beyond the use of sentences, she’s never above begging, “I need you deeper. Please, I need more. I need you to _fuck. me_.” Jan crooks another finger inside her and pushes Jackie’s legs off her shoulders so she can stand up. Jackie follows without being told what to do, and she rehooks her legs around Jan’s waist before she’s asked. She wails and grunts at the change of angle, and Jan uses the new position as leverage to fuck into Jackie faster, harder, deeper. The heel of Jan’s hand knocks and grinds against Jackie’s clit with every thrust, and Jackie’s moans reverberate around the room. Jan revels in her cries, and Jackie yelps when she feels Jan press against the spot that makes Jackie’s head spin and her vision go white.

“There, there, there,” Jackie’s chest is heaving, and her legs begin to shake around Jan’s waist, “don’t stop, Jan, please. I’m gonna come.”

“Come on baby,” Jan coos, leaning down and sucking new bruises into every inch of exposed skin, “you gonna come for me? Do it. Show me. You’re doing so well, always take it _so good_. You look so pretty when you come, Jackie. Wanna see it.” With Jan’s fingers and lips and breath all over her, Jackie is in overdrive. She feels her stomach drop, and she whines in a way that lets Jan know she’s on the brink of her orgasm. Her chest is tight, and her brain is short-circuiting as Jan’s fingers continue to hit her g-spot.

“Oh fuck, Jan. Please, I -” Jackie’s orgasm renders her silent and makes her stiffen momentarily, and then she groans loudly and rolls her body against Jan’s hand as Jan works her through it and helps her ride it out. Jan doesn’t stop until she feels Jackie’s body become pliant, sighing and whimpering at the overstimulation. Jan slows her ministrations and reconnects their lips as the final waves of Jackie’s orgasm wash over her. Jan has watched Jackie come thousands of times before, and yet Jan thinks that each orgasm is a little bit more beautiful than the one before it. Jan removes her fingers and Jackie jerks when they accidentally brush against her clit; Jan chuckles lowly before dragging her fingers up Jackie’s sternum and offering them to the brunette, who smiles and sucks Jan’s fingers clean, humming at the taste of herself on Jan’s skin. 

“You did so good,” Jan whispers, helping Jackie sit up and cradling her jaw so she can kiss her properly, “such a good girl.” Jackie whines at the praise, and Jan shivers when she feels Jackie’s tongue slip into her mouth. Jackie’s tongue is sweet with the remnants of her orgasm, and it’s a taste that Jan never gets tired of. They could stay like this forever if they could, in this state of post-orgasmic bliss — but they know they can’t risk being in the library any longer than they need to be. Jan slides Jackie’s underwear back up and helps her stand on shaky legs, and they walk hand-in-hand down the stairs and towards the door. There’s easy silence between them, both knowing that nothing needs to be said.

Even after Jackie turns the lights off and the room is shrouded in darkness once more, Jan swears that Jackie is radiating. Her dark hair is a mess, her mascara is smudged under her eyes and there are traces of Jan’s red lipstick across her sternum and décolletage - she’s sporting a bright post-sex glow, and Jan is irrevocably in love with beacon in front of her. Jan watches as Jackie locks the doors behind them, laughs as she pulls on the handles for good measure. 

“Ready to go home?” Jan sighs, intertwining her fingers with Jackie’s and squeezing; Jackie’s ruined curls bounce softly as she shakes her head.

“No,” they walk hand-in-hand through the dimly lit cloisters, the click of their heels against marble flooring echoing into the dark night, “we aren’t finished here yet.” Jackie’s lips tug into a smirk when she notices how Jan’s eyebrows have risen in shock and they continue to walk in silence, Jackie stringing Jan along behind her. 

Jackie feels like she is on cloud nine, like her veins are full of glitter and her synapses are spitting fire. She feels good, _great_ even - better than she has in quite some time. She thinks about how Jan said it felt surreal to be back where they met, and for the first time since their arrival Jackie understands what she meant. To be able to walk openly down the same corridors they were forced to sneak around in feels overwhelming, like they’re living in a dream. Jackie remembers being seventeen and waiting to hear Jan’s signature knock on her dorm room door late at night, remembers having to stagger their exits from the library so as not to trigger suspicion after their many midnight rendezvous. She remembers how something they were taught was so bad made her feel _so good_ , and how despite all the guilt and all the repentance after each exchange she still came back for more. A part of her thinks it’s funny, what she thought was the death of her innocence, idealism, purity - was really just the beginning of a new life. A life she led for herself - new hopes, new dreams, new joys. Life with Jan was like living in technicolour, so bright and radiant everything that came before felt like black and white.

They continue to walk in silence, hand-in-hand as they walk across the courtyards - and Jan's stomach flips when she works out what Jackie has planned.

_Oh,_ the realisation hits her like a tonne of bricks, _the locker room_. 

“Hey,” Jan’s voice is soft, and they stop under one of the campus’ many floral archways. Jan takes a few steps for that she’s no longer trailing behind Jackie, and she curls herself into the brunette’s side, “I love you.” For a minute Jackie doesn’t say anything, just stands in awe of the blonde in her arms before pulling her into a tight embrace. Jackie can smell Jan’s sugary perfume and the sweet muskiness of the jasmine blooming above them, and she presses a kiss to Jan’s hairline before mumbling that she loves her too. They keep moving, Jan now tucked under Jackie’s arm - Jackie can feel the goosebumps beginning to rise on Jan’s skin, and she pulls her in just that little bit tighter. 

*******

“This is insane.” Jan giggles, and her laughter ricochets around the room as Jackie leads her through rows of lockers. Jackie pushes Jan up against the cool metal of locker number 12, the rattle reverberating around the empty room, and Jan lets out a breathy moan. Suddenly, she is no longer laughing. 

There is a moment that passes between them where they’re merely inches apart and simply breathing each other in. Loose strands of blonde hair fall in front of Jan’s hair - but she doesn’t try to fix it, she doesn’t want to be the first one to break. The air in the locker room is thick, full of love and need and want. The tension between them is so palpable Jackie swears she’s almost able to reach out and hold it in the palms of her hands. She feels the gravity of the last eleven years, of Jan’s presence, wash over her; and just as she thinks she’s reached her emotional threshold for one evening, Jan whispers a wrecked _please_. 

Their mouths crash together, and Jan openly whines into Jackie’s mouth. This kiss is different to the one in the library, it’s slower - more passion and less teeth. Jackie slips the straps of Jan’s dress off her shoulders, peppers chaste kisses across the exposed skin, scrapes her teeth along Jan’s collarbone. Jan whines and grinds instinctively on the thigh that Jackie has slotted between her legs, and Jackie makes note of the way that the black material of Jan’s dress is riding higher and higher with each gyration. Jackie runs a hand across the smooth skin of Jan’s thigh, and she feels her breath hitch in her throat when she comes to the realisation that Jan isn’t wearing any underwear. Her breath trembles when she finally exhales, and a warbled _oh my god_ tumbles from Jackie’s lips. Jackie can feel Jan’s wetness against her thigh, can feel it when she brushes her thumb against Jan’s clit. 

“Please,” Jan begs once more as she drags one of Jackie’s hands to chest, and the whine Jan lets out when Jackie finally rolls a nipple between her thumb and forefinger is like music to the brunette’s ears, “Jackie, please.” Jackie cranes her neck in closer - they’re close enough that their lips are brushing, but not close enough for them to reconnect. Jackie revels in the sounds Jan makes as she rubs lower, as she runs two fingers between Jan’s folds. 

“You look so pretty,” Jackie whispers as she eases her fingers into Jan. She’s tight and slick and warm around Jackie’s fingers, and the sigh that slips from Jan’s mouth is heavenly, “so good.” 

It goes unsaid that Jan has been teetering on the edge of her orgasm for the better part of an hour - Jackie knows the cues like the back of her hand. She can hear it in the way Jan is whining, can feel it in the way Jan is pulsing around her fingers, can see it in the way that Jan is crinkling her nose. Jackie slips in another finger and changes the angle of her hand so that the heel of it brushes against Jan’s clit with every thrust. 

Jan is grinding against her, desperate and fast; and Jackie lets her. She watches in awe before lowering her head into the juncture between Jan’s neck and shoulder, lets her tongue dip into the hollow of Jan’s collarbone before dragging it up to her earlobe and nipping softly. Jan can’t keep quiet for the life of her, it’s a skill she’s never possessed. The noises coming out of Jan’s mouth are almost too much for Jackie to handle - she’s heard them thousands of times, and yet the joy and satisfaction she gets from them makes her feel like she’s hearing them for the very first time. She concentrates on pumping, quick and sloppy, following the pace that Jan has set for them, as she whispers sweet nothings in Jan’s ear. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Jan wails as Jackie changes the angle so that she’s brushing against the spot that makes her brain short-circuit and her breathing go ragged, “don’t stop, Jacks, please.”

“You close, baby?” Jackie coos as she sucks and kisses along the column of Jan’s neck, and she smirks when she sees the small trail of lovebites she’s left on the soft skin, “do it. Whenever you need.” 

“Jackie, I...” Jan clenches around Jackie’s fingers and comes with a loud moan, thighs quivering and breath shaking. Jackie works her through it, moves her fingers slower and slower until Jan is pliant and whimpering in Jackie’s embrace, and Jan captures Jackie’s lips in a lazy kiss that screams _I love you_. It’s as filthy as it is adoring, and Jackie pulls away first so she can suck her own fingers into her mouth, not once breaking eye contact with Jan. She takes her time, licks every drop of Jan off her fingers before pulling Jan back in for another kiss. Jan is flushed pink and absolutely spent, and Jackie pulls her forward so their foreheads are pressed together before whispering, “let’s go home.” 

*******

They walk back along the same paths, among the same floral archways - and Jackie takes a second to admire the way the flowers and the buildings and the cracks in the cobblestone for what she _knows_ is going to be the last time. They walk hand-in-hand, Jan’s hair is a mess and Jackie is sure she has scratch marks across her back - but there isn’t a fibre in her body that cares. 

They walk past the hall and ignore the music that’s still playing and the peals of laughter from girls whose names they can’t remember. There’s a slight spring in their steps as they make their way back to the car, Jackie holds the door open for Jan and waits until she’s buckled in before leaning in and kissing her. They kiss again after Jackie turns on the ignition, leaning over the centre console and giggling when Jackie complains about the handbrake poking her ribs. 

Jackie’s hand falls to rest on Jan’s thigh as she drives, and she decides to drive the long way home. There’s a lazy smile on Jan’s face as she fiddles with Jackie’s fingers, and Jackie wants to milk this feeling for all it’s worth. The night is still young, too late for Indian but full of other possibilities. She thinks about how they might fuck in the shower when they get home, maybe curl up in bed with wine and some leftover strawberries and kiss until the sun rises like they used to. 

Jackie never says she’s sure of anything unless she means it - and she’s sure that even though they have closed this chapter of their lives, the teenage giddiness in their stomachs isn’t going anywhere. 


End file.
